Marital Status and Back Surgery

I definately think after two surgeries that being married was easier. Post-op, there were a lot of things I couldn't do for myself, like climbing in and out of the bathtub to shower. My husband had a shower chair and even washed my hair for me. Plus, I was in a wheelchair before my fusion, and there's no way I could have gotten around without him: to doctors appointments, to the hospital, and anywhere else I needed to go. He did all the housework, cooking, laundry, etc., and now that I'm worse again, he does those things plus works 48 hours a week. I don't know how single people (especially those with no family) are able to get along.

I agree with you. I guess if you are single you just find some type of support system that doesn't involve a spouse. It takes a really charitable person to help someone post-op who you are not related to. People like that are rare.

I remember after my second back surgery (the one that failed), the doctor ordered home health care for me. The nurse came by and asked me a bunch of questions and then looked around and talked to my wife for a while. After about a half hour she simply said that there was nothing there for her to do because my wife was taking really good care of me. My wife did not have any medical problem at the time, but she was trying to take care of me along with 3 boys all under the age of 10. She is my hero, both then and now.

My problem would have been that my husband is my only local support system-all my friends are on line and my family is in Ohio (we're no longer close), so I would have been completely alone. That's just one of the many things that have kept us together for 22 years. He's the greatest!!

I was a little surprised at how little help family was. I guess if they are not there in your home they just don't really understand the day to day challenges that you face post-op even in the best of circumstances. I am really close to my siblings and my father (who was alive at the time of all 4 surgeries), but if they aren't there every day they just don't realize how hard it is to take care of someone recovering from major surgery.

Even this week, I have been suffering from a cold. I can take care of myself, but my wonderful wife is there trying to get me to get additional rest and recover as fast as possible. I think it is something that she has developed over the past 25 years of being married to me since I have been dealing with back problems for the past 20 years.

Excuse me, but according to my Bride, she got the greatest, na, na, na, na, na, na!

I've done it both ways and after marriage was definitely easier because I had an immediate person who cared about my condition and was available at all hours to talk to. THat helps. Plus the general things like you get out of the hospital earlier because someone can take you home sooner. A longer stay the first time helped me get pneumonia i'm sure which was a real setback. Another perspective always gives me a different outlook at situations as they arise and another set of eyes rarely hurts.

That was really my thoughts as well, I don't have any other perspective, but I have always thought that having my wife around was a huge asset.